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A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 ESV

Do you have several friends or just a few close relationships?

Jesus is certainly my closest friend, for He is my Maker and understands every joy and every sorrow that I will ever encounter. He is all the world to me, and He promises to never leave or abandon me.

But today, I want to focus on the above verse? Proverbs contrasts two types of friends. The first emphasizes friends in plural. This may refer to having many superficial friends that hang around because of personal gain. They seem to disappear when the storms of life rage. Then, there is the second part of the verse that identifies the advantage of a genuine friend that sticks beside you even when the times are tough.

You may say, “I can manage life just fine on my own.” “I don’t need to share my problems with others.” “I’ll figure it out myself.” But don’t believe that others have lesser problems, or they are not interested in your life. With a wrong mindset, we cleverly hide our woes behind a facade of smiles.

In James 1:2, it states that we will have trials of various kinds! So, how do we manage our trials? What do we do after we pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and guidance? Trust and Wait on the Lord of course! But now the question. Is it wrong to share our circumstances with someone?

Glad you asked! I have heard it said that if more people confided in a wise and trusted friend there would be less of a need to see a counsellor. Don’t forget that David shared his heart with Jonathan, and Moses had Aaron. Proverbs 27:17 also states, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” This kind of mutual, self-sacrificial friendship strengthens the inner soul as you pray together, lend a listening ear, or offer a helping hand. It takes time and requires a certain amount of transparency to develop this kind of close friend. But, in the end, a trustworthy friendship is a tremendous blessing.

It’s beneficial to share our pain and sorrow with others, for we must not be islands unto ourselves. The further we move away from God and fellow believers, the lonelier we become.

A story circulated on the internet illustrates this so poignantly.

There was an old man whose wife died. They had both attended church for many years, but when she passed away, he quit coming. Finally, after many months, the pastor decided to drive out to the man’s farm. He knocked on the door, but no one came to greet him. Slowly he opened the old, weathered screen door and stepped into the house, allowing his eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room. Without saying a word, he quietly walked into the living room where he saw the old man. The farmer didn’t look his way, but rather, stared ahead at the fireplace. The fire had long since turned to ashes, giving little warmth from the burnt wood. Drawing a chair up to the fireside, the pastor sat down. Without a word, he gently stirred the ashes with the iron rod, causing the ashes to flutter around the blackened wood. Then, ever so carefully, the pastor blew his warm breath toward the suffocating fire. Within minutes, the restored red embers began licking at the wood, and soon, the flames engulfed the logs that lay in the hearth. The pastor put more wood into the fire and pushed his chair back from the fire. With a shepherd’s heart, he gazed upon the old man and whispered that they all missed him and would look forward to seeing him in church next Sunday. The old man had tears in his eyes as the pastor left the room as quietly as he had entered, leaving the man to gain warmth and strength from the fire. The next Sunday the pastor greeted the old man at the church doors.

This heartfelt story reveals two paths. There is tragedy in living a solitary life. If you isolate yourself, especially during times of hardship, it only leads to entrenched solitude. And an island cannot stand alone. We soon grow cold, and our spiritual fire dwindles without others to fan the flame.

On the other hand, it is important to stay connected in the dark days of the soul. Is it difficult for you to reach out and draw strength from others in your time of need? If so, the Lord may use someone to help rekindle the flame. Like the pastor, make us available to touch the life of those that are hurting, because one day, it might be you. Simply said, kindness restores a sense of belonging and purpose.

As December 25th quickly approaches, do you find a thread of heartache squelching the celebration of Christmas? Does the picture of the season brim with bright color or does your paintbrush find it difficult to dip into the radiant joy of red and green? Are there traditional songs playing in your home or is the music silent this year?

My heart aches for you if life is unexpectedly difficult. As hard as it may seem, it’s at the lows of life that we especially need the Lord and a circle of close friends as I shared in the internet story. Eventually, there will be a point in life where we will face various degrees of heartache and sorrows. For myself, it has been nine years since my son passed away, and yet, I still find the tears streaming down my cheeks as I relive special Christmas memories.

This season, take time to read the account of Jesus’ birth in Matthew 1, Luke 1 and 2. Reflect on the sacrificial love of Christ. Focus on the humble surrender of the second person of the Trinity to the Father’s will; leaving the splendor of heaven and coming to earth to take on the form of a baby boy. Let the understanding that God is loving, good and kind impact your life. He is the One that can truly relate to you no matter your joy or heartache.

Lord God, may the true meaning of Christmas resound around the world.

With the season of Christmas occupying my thoughts, I am thankful for the fulfilled prophecy in Isaiah. The joy and glory of the birth of Jesus as recorded in the gospels. Emmanuel, God with us who came to save us from our sins! May the Holy Spirit continue to seek and save the lost and draw us ever closer to Your heart.

Our relationship has developed over the years and is deeper than any person can offer. You delight in my joys and carry all my burdens and sorrows. Although you are the perfect friend, I also give thanks for the treasure of earthly friendships. Amen.

Now, I ask the most important question, do you have a friend in Jesus?

O Come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker. Psalm 95:6 ESV